Narcism and addiction: Is there a link?

No matter what covert narcissists achieve in life; perfect career, five-bedroom house, the latest sports car, they will always compare their accomplishments to others. Unlike overt narcissists who feel superior to others, covert narcissists often judge and compare themselves to others; they may even measure their happiness to other people. A covert narcissist feels stressed and worried a lot of the time and tends to suffer in close relationships.

Sometimes, they may choose not to work because it does not match their sense of self. The burden of criticism (whether real or anticipated) can be overwhelming and can cause covert narcissists much discomfort. Researchers noted profound differences in narcissism symptoms, which signifies that those with the disorder will not consistently demonstrate the classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. You can learn to understand the goals of covert narcissists so you can notice the tactics they are using to achieve this goal from you (e.g., such as maintaining control) and ensure they are not using you as a power source. Someone living with narcissistic personality disorder may tend to resent when others don’t give them the status or importance they think they deserve. Covert means something that isn’t evident, or that isn’t openly displayed.

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From this place, you can hold the covert narcissist responsible by consistently setting limits. In this way, you’ll learn if you can get their attention to what you’re saying and work with you. A recognition of covert narcissist behavior can help you decide what to do about the relationship.

Future research should evaluate potential mechanisms driving these associations, such as mediators that might explain associations or moderators that might strengthen relationships found in this study. For example, perhaps types of drinking motives (e.g., conformity or coping) differentially mediate the relationship between narcissism subtypes and alcohol outcomes. Moderators such as positive or negative affect or reward sensitivity might affect the strength of the associations found in this study. In addition, future research could include more ethnically diverse samples to determine if the associations found here differ for students of diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds. Psychoanalyst James Masterson first identified the “Closet Narcissist”—someone deflated, with an inadequate self-perception.

How do you know if you’re a covert narcissist?

Despite sharing core traits, in a sense, behaviorally the covert narcissist is the mirror image of the exhibitionist narcissist. While the latter demands to be the center of attention, the former feels slighted that they’re not, or gets attention by playing the victim. Instead of working the room, the covert narcissist is self-absorbed. Normal introverts are generally good listeners, but not this narcissist. Rather than ordering others around, the covert narcissist can get their way indirectly through passive-aggressive behavior.

For that reason, in Rethinking Narcissism, I introduced the term “introverted narcissist” instead. Covert narcissism, then, is just another way of describing introverted, vulnerable, or hypersensitive narcissists. Covert narcissists are both insecure covert narcissism and alcoholism and hypersensitive, which can make them “very difficult to deal with,” psychiatrist Dr. Harold Hong told Mind Body Green. A covert narcissist believes their problems are more important than yours — or anyone else’s, for that matter, Malkin said.

Narcissists May Be More Likely to Struggle with Alcohol Use Problems

Regularly interacting with someone with covert NPD can be challenging. It is worth noting that self-importance is not the same as self-esteem. A person with good self-esteem feels valuable in themselves and does not feel the need to assert their superiority over others. We treat all of our clients with the utmost care, dignity and respect. Call now for a totally confidential, no obligation conversation with one of our professionals.

They may also want to limit the amount of personal data they share with them. These are the difficult questions that the partner of a narcissist and addict has to explore and answer for him or herself. While not all narcissists are unfaithful, many of their traits can make it more likely that they will be unfaithful compared to someone who is not a narcissist. Narcissists tend to need a lot of validation from those around them, and they need to be admired. Narcissists will usually exploit and manipulate others for their own gain, while confident people can strive to lift others up. Also, it is rare for narcissists to admit when they are at fault, while confident people are more likely to take responsibility and admit when they are wrong.

Recognizing Covert Narcissist Traits

Although NPD can’t be cured, someone with NPD can change their behavior if they’re willing to put in the time and effort, according to research from 2018. People with NPD tend to have difficulty receiving criticism from others, and as such, they might find it difficult to commit to psychotherapy and lifestyle changes. In the United States, the DSM-5-TR is used to diagnose both conditions. In other words, those who had narcissistic tendencies were more likely to use alcohol and experience problems because of alcohol use. Alcohol misuse refers to situations where you drink excessively or when you drink alcohol when it’s harmful – for example, when you’re pregnant or when you have a medical condition that makes alcohol consumption dangerous. Being in a relationship when you have NPD or with someone with NPD can be particularly difficult, but not impossible.